Ugh

I have been dreading this day well before I even gave birth. The two month (get shots) check-up. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but I don't want him to hurt! I know the shots are necessary and I want him to have them. I do not want to put him in harms way by not getting his shots, but...(no offense to those of you that do not believe in getting vaccines - I, too, questioned it at first, but made a personal choice to go ahead with vaccinating my little one.) I almost had a fit when they did a heel stick to check his bili level right after we came home from the hospital because I felt so helpless when he was crying!

So, we go to the Doctor at 2:30pm. 2 hours from now and counting. I know that I should be calm about it because he can sense my anxiety, but I cannot help it. He is sleeping right now. Soundly. I am sick to my stomach right now. Really sick. This might have to be a task for Casey when Clay gets a little older. Mainly because I know Casey will be more calm with him crying than I will be. I want to grab him up and kiss his little tears away, I want to make it better immediately! (And, yes, I know this will be harder for me than it is for him. He will be fine the second it is over - he is pretty tough!)

That is the agenda for the day. Anxious anticipation. I am excited to see how long he is and see how much he weighs! My guess is 23 inches long and 13 pounds. I actually have not gotten out the tape measure and haven't weighed him at home in a week or so - believe it or not. It's like a pat on the back knowing that he is getting so big - like I have really done something breastfeeding him. I also have a few questions for Dr. Weed - 1. Should Casey and I get the whooping cough vaccine? 2. How many ounces of breast milk in a 24 hour period should he be getting? (And, yes, I have figured it out with the formula we use for our kiddos at work, but he is not getting near that much and is still gaining weight.) 3. If we had to transition to formula at some point, which should we use? (We had to supplement a couple of times and the formula killed his little belly, so, I'm wondering if we should use soy?.) 4. Are there things that I am not doing that I should be doing to aid in his development? physical and mental? I have the emotional development covered. And I think that's it.

I never thought I would have as many questions - be it that I work with little ones every day, but, it is very different because I am mom first in this situation. I don't think like a nurse, I think like a mom. (I think in any given situation I would and could think like a nurse, but not every day. That would be exhausting. And worrisome.)

Enough for now. I will post our most recent stats after we get back from the Doctor. Or maybe tomorrow depending on how traumatized I am.