Superhero

I am starting to see things through my mom glasses. Just figuratively. Some go through life and look at the world through "rose colored glasses," I see things through mom glasses now. (What is wrong with seeing the world through rose colored glasses anyway? Some of us might be happier people if we did see a little tint of pink every time we opened our eyes.)

The way I think has changed. Instead of just thinking how my every decision will impact Casey and I, I think "hmmm...how will this ultimately affect Casey, Clay, and I?" Minor or major decisions, doesn't matter. It is a responsible way of thinking, I suppose, just different. All of a sudden I feel real responsible. For a lot of things. And a lot of beings. (Okay, just 2 beings, really - but those two beings are my world!) It is amazing that I just now feel responsible. We are married. We own a house thus we owe a substantial amount of money to a bank. We drive a vehicle that is not paid off thus we owe another bank some money. We have careers where people depend on us every day. And yet I haven't really felt all that responsible until Clay came along. Strange.

I look at people differently now too. I see them. I mean REALLY see them. I see them (no, not judge them) for who they really are. And for their place in our lives. (I only expect that everyone does this from time to time - inventory, if you will.) I want to raise Clay in a loving, caring, responsible environment. I want to raise him around positive people (and yes, I actively try to be positive every day - even when my boobs leak all over everything) and grow up around healthy people. I want him to know that the people we surround ourselves with are people who love us. Who care for him and love him as much as we do. (Might not be possible - we have an insurmountable amount of love for him.) I want him to feel safe, to feel protected. My hope is that if we raise him in such an environment that he will too choose healthy and positive people to surround himself with when he is older. I want him to have all of the joy we have knowing the people we do.

I also look at our house differently. As in potential hazards. Cat throw up being one of those hazards. What if Clay finds it before I do? What if said cat throw up ends up in his mouth? (Because you know if he is crawling around on the floor and happens upon something, that something will end up in his mouth.) I will vomit. I mean it. I can't clean up the cat throw up without gagging. And to think about having to clean it out of little hands or a little mouth. HAZARDOUS. Electrical cords. We have a billion. Our dog and cat even chew on them. What makes me think Clay won't partake? Cat litter. I need a lock on the cat litter closet to keep Clay out of it. If I saw a door cracked I would want to go in and see what was in there. I crawl on the floor occasionally just to see what I could see if that was my vantage point. (I highly recommend it to those who think they are OCD about keeping their house clean - it will throw you into a full blown panic.) There are a lot of little hazards for a little one to get into. Worry. Worry. Worry.

Little girls. Oh my goodness. I need to have blinders made for him. When did 10 year old girls start looking 15 or 16? And PUT ON SOME CLOTHES. No dating until he moves out. (And that will be when he is done with college. Or maybe grad school.) He is really good looking already. And I am sure all the girls will be after him. Enough said on that topic.

I want what is best for him. At all cost. I truly would do anything and everything for him. These mom glasses fit pretty well. I don't plan on taking them off anytime soon. I may never. They may be permanently attached to my face. (With super glue.)

(On a side note - my sonar ears have been activated as well. One little noise, weird breath, or lack of breath in the middle of the night wakes me up out of a dead sleep. Pronto. No turning those things off either.)

You should really get a pair of mom glasses - they are wonderful (and maybe dreadful) in the same sense. And get a pair of sonar ears too. I almost feel like a superhero.