Tags

Throughout our entire pregnancy I collected clothes that Clay could wear throughout his first year of life. I found the majority, if not all, of the clothes online on clearance. I was planning ahead. I thought that we would feel less stressed about the financial aspect of having a child if we were VERY prepared on the forefront - and we were. He has enough clothes to last through his first year and I don't feel the need to buy any more clothes until he outgrows what we already have, so, the planning ahead did serve a great purpose!

What we didn't plan for were all the unexpected complications throughout the pregnancy. While I wanted to be able to enjoy decorating the nursery, getting all the clothes ready for him, washing everything - I held off. I was afraid to enjoy those things. I was afraid to decorate. I was afraid to get excited. I found myself being superstitious.

The tags. While it seems a little silly now, it was what I saw when I looked in the nursery. Tags. On all the clothes. I was afraid to take them off. I was afraid that if I did I would somehow jinx myself. I wanted to leave them there until I had Clay in my arms. And I remember the day I cut all of the tags off of the newborn clothes - I sat in the middle of the living room floor for hours and just cried and cut tags off. I was letting go of what every doctor thought was the inevitable - I was accepting that I would, in fact, hold a healthy newborn in my arms. That I would be able to love a little human instead of just the thought of him.

So, some of the tags are still attached, but not for the same reasons. Now they are attached still because it takes hours to remove them. I will remove them as I need the clothes now!

I am thankful he's here. I am thankful the tags didn't jinx me.