Part-Time

In the last 10 months the needs of our family have changed, evolved. In the beginning - and up until recently - it has been most important to have me home every night. (Hence me working every weekend.) It hasn't really bothered us me being gone every weekend because it seemed like it was (and has been) what was best for Clay. And while I still feel it is very important for me to be home at night, it has been made very clear to us (Casey, Clay, and me) that it is more important for us to have time as a family together. (It has been made apparent because we have actually had that consistent time off together in the last month and it has deepened our relationship - marriage and our relationship with Clay as a WHOLE family unit) Meaning we need days off together - we need park days, do nothing together days, do-projects-as-a-family days - we need togetherness. And so we have made the decision as a family for me to go part-time. (Don't worry, we are not going to starve. There actually will not be much, if any, difference in pay.)

I will (hopefully) be able to work 2 nights a week - split apart by a few days. This will eliminate any need for daycare still. Sure, I will be tired after working all night taking care of Clay the next day, but he naps. He takes 3 great naps during the day for me, so I will nap with him. My concern with working nights when he was first born was Casey's need for sleep and Clay's need for constant breastfeeding during the night. While he still breastfeeds at night (Clay, not Casey) he does so more out of habit than for nutrition. He actually goes to sleep at night while laying on Casey, he sleeps longer in the mornings with Casey than he does with me, and he tends to sleep more soundly with one of us in the bed than with us both. (Probably because he would like a lot more room than all of us in the bed together offers!) So, my fears of being gone at night are more eased now than they were in the beginning. (Not gone, mind you.) The benefits of me being home when Casey is at home and us being able to be a "family" together far out-weigh my fears of being gone at night.

We are making steps to preserve what is most important in this life - our family. We will never remember the things we lack in our life, but we will ALWAYS remember our time spent together. We want Clay to know what is important, to always feel important, to remain our priority. (As well as the preservation and continued growth of our marriage.) I have been given the most precious gifts - a wonderful, loving husband and a happy, healthy child. They are my treasures, my pleasures, the reason that every one of my days is the best day of my life. I want to always make them my priority. I have been given this life and though I may have lost my way a few times, my path is now paved. It is paved to my family.

There will always be hours I can work, there will always be jobs I can have, there will always be sick babies that I will have the privilege of helping heal, but my time with my family can never be replaced. I can never get it back - and I never want to miss moments.