Stay At Home

I have decided I want to be a stay at home mom. And Casey has decided he is ready to retire and be a stay at home dad. We have not bought any lottery tickets yet, but I may be standing in line to buy them ALL soon.

The email is sent, it is confirmed. My first day back at work will be July 16th and I am a wreck about it. I am trying to tell myself that I will be fine - Casey will be home with him on Fridays and Sundays and he will stay with our families on Saturdays. None of that helps me want to go back to work. It's not that I don't want to go back to my job, because I love it, I just don't want to leave him!

It's amazing the change in just a year. A year ago I was working 5 and 6 nights in a row, not because I had to, but because I wanted to. Now I am just working Friday, Saturday, and Sunday day shift and I can't even bring myself to think about it without crying! Such a baby, I know. I couldn't fathom the thought of leaving Clay at night, so I applied for the same job, just working days and got it - thankfully! Now I will eat dinner with my family every night, go to bed with my husband every night, and feel "normal."

To make myself feel a little better I have decided to call myself a stay at home mom - just one that works occasionally. (So what if it's every weekend.) For the most part I will be home with him, at least the majority of the week. It will all work out just fine and I will make it. I am not thrilled about having to leave him, but maybe it will be good for all of us. (I can't think of how it will benefit me at all at this point, but give me a couple of years and I will come up with some positive benefits of it.)

I have never really considered myself a "traditional" woman, but I am re-thinking it now. I absolutely love being at home. I love cleaning, I love doing the laundry, I love being home when Casey gets home, I love taking care of Clay - I love it! I can see why women stayed in the home years ago. It is equivalent to two full time jobs. I have found many positive aspects of being a house wife. (No, I will not be a housewife any time in the foreseeable future - don't get any ideas.) I just now have a new respect for women who stay home to raise their little ones and take care of the home! Love the idea.